That Bearded Mofo

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My 129-Word Essay On


Published Sun Jul 3, 2016 6:00pm PST

In case you missed it last week, the three North American leaders met for the world's most awkward handshake. But calling a handshake awkward is like calling a milkshake tasty.

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Btw, have you seen my milkshake?

Handshakes are silly. You wrap your fingers around another person's palm and they wrap around yours. Then you squeeze. Or shake. Jiggle, jimmy, slide. And release. This is a show of respect?

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But this is a show of respek.

Imagine if we greeted using other body parts like that. Sure, we already do with some. We touch lips to say "I love you" and we rub our hair together to say "What do you want for lunch?"

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That's why bald people are always skipping meals.

What if we greeted by enmeshing toes? Or doing the backstroke shoulder blade to shoulder blade? Can you really call any attempt of slapping body parts together not awkward?

~That Jiggle Jimmy Sliding Mofo~

My 129-Word Essay On

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