That Bearded Mofo

First ArticlePrev Article
Next Article Latest Article

Think Again

Published Thu Oct 29, 2020 12:10am PST

image shaved off
image shaved off

My fellow Fantasy Americans,

It's been a long time. I shouldn't have left you without a dope read to skim through.

Now we could sit here all day talm 'bout who needs to apologize to who for not writing a weekly what for the last four years, but I'm not here to point fingers. I'm here to provide some encouragement during the emotional dookie storm that has been 2020.

We all know how bad it's been. Yes, yes, you're sick of hearing about it. Coronavirus. Police brutality. Murder hornets. The Falcons. You're over it. We all want to be over it. But sometimes you can't get over it. You have to go through it.

image shaved off
image shaved off

Like I went through 3 gallons of emotion-numbing ice cream a week.

It's hard times. Many of us have unexpectedly lost someone we held dear. Dak. Odell. Saquon. Chadwick. Some of us have lost jobs. Bill O'Brien. Dan Quinn. Aunt Jemima. Donald Trump? [fingers crossed] And all of us have found ourselves doing things we never could have imagined. Hunting for toilet paper. Wearing masks. Washing groceries. Starting Tannehill.

But the fact that you've gotten through so much of these hard times so far is proof itself that you can get through the rest of it, whenever it's scheduled to end. 2022? I don't know. The folks at Big Corona haven't given me that information. You got through it because, truthfully, as bad as this year has been, it wasn't ALL bad. You just gotta think 2020 positive.

Think about all the good that has happened in 2020. Remember a few years ago just two months ago when Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion dropped "WAP"? That was nice, right? And what about when Bill Belichick's dog drafted for him at the Virtual 2020 NFL Draft? That was great. And now look at the Patriots' terrible record. That's even greater!

image shaved off
image shaved off

Jaguars game attendance is higher now than it was before Covid.

2020 gave us Tik Tok, Verzuz battles, Tiger King, Club Quarantine, working from home in your underwear, white folks getting woke, Zoom faux pas, televised H-O-R-S-E, and entanglement with August. And all that was before summer.

So buck up, Buttercup. It might seem like 2020 ain't your year, but... It ain't the Giants' year. It ain't the Cowboys' year. It ain't the Eagles' year. It ain't the Football Teams' year. But somebody's gotta make the playoffs. Why not you?

Stay 2020 positive.

And Wakanda forever.

~That Motivational Mofo~

Comments (aka, the worst part of the Internet):
Make sure you're logged in. If you're not, I'd suggest copying all that text you just wrote before it goes bye-bye.