And Now Futurespeak From The Joker Beast...
I guess with the time change, my team decided to change into a A BUNCH OF LOSERS!!! Whatever. This game shouldn't have even counted. The time was off. The sun was in my eyes. My foot hurts. I forgot my wallet. Forget it. Moving on.
I just read that Larry Johnson called Jim Zorn a "fag" during an argument over proper deep fryer technique during their shift break at Jack-In-The-Box. Must be HEADLINES FROM THE FUTURE. I predict the following headlines to appear in newspapers throughout the country on Monday morning. (This should be of particular interest to you, Team Perfection.)
♠ In Schaub We Trust
♦ Eeny Beanie Mighty Mo
♠ Big Grinnings For Packers' Jennings
♦ Fortune Favors the Boldin
♠ Christmas Comes Early, Wrapped In A Big Bowe
♦ SD's AG's TDs Kill TP
♠ Celek-brate Good Times, C'mon!
♦ Pack Attack Whacks Backs and Racks Sacks
♣ Brady And Bunch Take A Football To The Nose
♦ Vince Rinsed and Hung On A Fence
♣ Football Is Not Matt's Forte
♦ Grant Can't
♣ Smith No Giant In Week 9
♦ Dia De Los Muerte Para Ochocinco
♣ Less For NO's Moore
♦ Trash Heap
While I still have the future in sight, here are my Vegas picks and my reasons why.
CIN def BAL
Because thanks to VH1, your mama is the only person in the world who's never been on television.
ARI def CHI
Because sequels to "Ghostbusters" and "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" are in the works. They're reliving our childhood memories by destroying them.
ATL def WAS
Because Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon = soulmates. Really? ... Really???
GB def TB
Because Dunkin Donuts is coming back to St. Louis. There goes our 16th Fittest City In America title.
NE def MIA
Because how is being a paparazzo any different from being a stalker? One wants you to die so you'll be immortalized forever and one wants you to die so they can sell pics. Yet nobody's coming to arrest TMZ.
JAC def KC
Because also, you must have to be kinda wealthy to be a full time stalker, huh? You can't support yourself off Bel-Air eggshells and Beverly Hills coffee grinds. You gotta have loads of stalking money. On a related note, "Hi, Kerry Washington!"
IND def HOU
Because I Googled "extra-strength laxative" and "Cleveland Browns" came up.
NO def CAR
Because they blocked my games and social networking websites at work. No Fanball. No Twitter. What do they expect me to do? Work? I don't understand.
SEA def DET
Because I Googled "Disney's Gargoyles" and "Rajon Rondo" came up.
TEN def SF
Because you couldn't pay me enough naked women to watch that 1 Guy 1 Jar video.
SD def NYG
Because I Googled "extra-strength douche" and "Glenn Beck" came up.
PHI def DAL
Because how come the only Black shows on TV are cartoons? (The Cleveland Show, House of Payne, Meet The Browns)
PIT def DEN
Because I Googled "hot damn I wanna take you to a Boatmen's and sex you on a stack of pennies" and "Kerry Washington" came up. On another related note, "Hi, Kerry!"
Good luck to most of you this weekend. Lastly, I'll leave you with this image. For Halloween, I dressed up as the most horrific sight known to man: a loan payment. Brrr! I'm still getting chills.
~Joker Beast~
For you, Kerry Washington ♥♥♥
For you.
| Team Perfection (Ryan Bridges) says, |
| Nov 03, 2009 9:44:12 AM PST |
| That was cute.......real cute Joker lol I give you an "A" for effort. So I guess I wont beat you too bad this week. I'll take it easy on you, just like I did yo brother . As a matter of fact, I see you like to dibble and dabble with vegas predictions, huh. Well predict this........Will I beat you by more than 13.5 or less, if I spot you one player ? I don't know about you and what you think, but I'm going with the over. I'll beat you by 18, easily . P.S. Don't take it personal. Its just business for me. Maybe you and your brother can get together and counsel and soothe each other after both taking a devastating lost from "TP" P.P.S Black, I didn't know you teamed up with Jemerrio-Jemerrio and are plotting against me too! I just realized you threw a rock at me and hid your hands, about four weeks ago. Yeah, you thought I wasn't gon peep game. I did though. Its all good, because yo ass is next, "Mr. funny clown" . Don't go to sleep n***a lol |
| The Joker Beast (Terry Wesley) says, |
| Nov 03, 2009 7:26:00 PM PST |
| You know, TP is the perfect name 'cause your team is soft and good for sh*t. You're gonna unravel this Sunday and get flushed down the toilet like a dead goldfish. That's right, double metaphor up in this b*tch! J-Beast |
| Team Perfection (Ryan Bridges) says, |
| Nov 04, 2009 10:05:53 AM PST |
| A wise man once told me, "Don't argue with fools, because people from a distance can tell who is who." With that being said, I just "cursed" yo brotha and although your holdin a "joker," "beast," I hold the BIG one . P.S. Goin against me is like puttin matches to ice.............you wont make it lol. I hope I didn't get to complex for ya, with that last simile lol . P.P.S Oh, and Black.........Just to let you know, I aint done with you either. You WILL bow down to the master. "SHO'NUFF!!!! lol" |