BEFORE AND AFTERMATH 2010: SUPERBOWL
Joker Beast's War Journal
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Ho. Ho. Horrible season.
Or great, if you're one of the ones who won.
STLiens and footBALLS DEEP were gunned down. But I saw a little breath left in their lungs. They're both crawling to that knife lying on the ground. Which one will get to it first?
It's been a long year. I'm tired.
I should be tired. I'm dead.
Maybe next year--Bah! I'm tired of saying that.
Signed,
Joker Ghost
AND THEN THERE WERE TWO...
(But Really Still Four)
In the undercard, footBALLS DEEP (9-6) makes his third attempt at the evasive Week 16 victory when he goes up against newcomer STLiens (9-6). It's Andre Johnson versus Reggie Wayne for that number 3 cash prize.
Now, the big game...
The Superbowl
Hitmen (10-5) vs Diablo Negro (9-6)
This year, the trophy returns home no matter what. Neither team is new to the big game. Hitmen has a title. Diablo Negro has two.
These division rivals just matched up 3 weeks ago when Diablo hung a much needed victory on the Hitmen just to make it into the playoffs. And in their first meeting waaay back in Week 5, Diablo blew out Hitmen by over 30 points. So far, it's 2-0 in Diablo's favor.
Hitmen averages 10 points more than Diablo Negro. But 8th place Negro has taken out the record leader and the points leader over the last two weeks. Offed #1. Offed #2. Now going up against #3, will David complete his Goliath trifecta? Or has his late season fortune run out?
It's literally Brady versus Manning in the Superbowl (if you take fantasy literally). Let's see how the teams stack up.
QB (opp vs pass)
[Hm]
Peyton Manning @ OAK (5th)
Avg: 24.5 Rk: 5 Pos: 5
He's been Favre-like this year. Could this be the beginning of the end for Peyton? Maybe, but there's no way you wouldn't have him on your team and there's no way you wouldn't start him. Ever.
Matt Hasselbeck @ TB (12th)
Avg: 14.8 Rk: 52 Pos: 24
Sea. Attle. Seahawks.
And he might not even start.
[DN]
Tom Brady @ BUF (7th)
Avg: 25.4 Rk: 1 Pos: 1
Potentially the NFL's MVP. And definitively fantasy's MVP, the way he took his team to the playoffs and beyond.
Mark Sanchez @ CHI (14th)
Avg: 17.4 Rk: 25 Pos: 18
No. Just no.
RB (opp vs run)
[Hm]
Knowshon Moreno vs HOU (9th)
Avg: 14.6 Rk: 87 Pos: 19
Man, the Broncos suck.
Keiland Williams @ JAC (18th)
Avg: 6.6 Rk: 224 Pos: 41
That's right: Rank 224. Moving on.
[DN]
Steven Jackson vs SF (7th)
Avg: 13.1 Rk: 61 Pos: 13
He's gotta do well for the Rams to win the division. ... What? This is about real football, right?
Brandon Jackson vs NYG (10th)
Avg: 9.0 Rk: 140 Pos: 25
When's the last time he was started? Week 9. Yeah, stay that way.
Brian Westbrook @ STL (16th)
Avg: 4.1 Rk: 280 Pos: 52
He'll probably go off. You never know.
WR (opp vs pass)
[Hm]
Calvin Johnson @ MIA (6th)
Avg: 17.9 Rk: 19 Pos: 3
My man! This guy gets stats no matter who's throwing the ball. He's a keeper. Not so sure about Stafford, though.
Steve Johnson vs NE (30th)
Avg: 15.6 Rk: 34 Pos: 9
When did they start calling this guy Stevie?
Santana Moss @ JAC (27th)
Avg: 14.4 Rk: 47 Pos: 16
He doubled his fantasy point average the week Grossman started. ... Still, f@ck Shanahan!
Hines Ward vs CAR (8th)
Avg: 9.6 Rk: 124 Pos: 36
He started off so well. Now he's fallen beHines. Yeah, I wrote that.
[DN]
Hakeem Nicks @ GB (3rd)
Avg: 18.8 Rk: 32 Pos: 8
An unstoppable bastard.
Percy Harvin @ PHI (21st)
Avg: 13.8 Rk: 77 Pos: 23
The Vikings are just a twisted fantasy mess. You don't know what to expect.
Lance Moore @ ATL (20th)
Avg: 11.5 Rk: 85 Pos: 26
This is a big game for playoff hopes. ... I got nothing to say about Lance.
Austin Collie @ OAK (5th)
Avg: 18.3 Rk: 81 Pos: 24
Poor kid. Three concussions in one season. Not a good start this week. Probably never to start again.
TE (opp vs pass)
[Hm]
Tony Gonzalez vs NO (4th)
Avg: 10.3 Rk: 107 Pos: 6
When I think Tony Gonzalez, I think of his hot wife.
Zach Miller vs IND (11th)
Avg: 9.3 Rk: 147 Pos: 12
Will he show up? Why start now?
[DN]
Greg Olsen vs NYJ (9th)
Avg: 6.6 Rk: 204 Pos: 21
Daaaa Bears, da Bears, da Bears, da Bears, da Bears, da Bears, da... Bears, da Bears...
Visanthe Shiancoe @ PHI (21st)
Avg: 6.8 Rk: 199 Pos: 20
See Percy Harvin.
K (opp vs pts)
[Hm]
Shayne Graham @ BUF (25th)
Avg: 7.6 Rk: 282 Pos: 33
You're a kicker. Who cares?
Billy Cundiff @ CLE (10th)
Avg: 7.1 Rk: 190 Pos: 13
You're a kicker. Who cares?
[DN]
Robbie Gould vs NYJ (5th)
Avg: 7.5 Rk: 176 Pos: 8
You're a kicker. Who cares?
Ryan Longwell @ PHI (21st)
Avg: 4.6 Rk: 262 Pos: 29
You're a kicker. Who cares?
DEF (opp offense)
[Hm]
Vikings @ PHI (1st)
Avg: 10.7 Rk: 104 Pos: 21
I would not want to face Michael Vick. Or flossy DeSean Jackson.
Seahawks @ TB (20th)
Avg: 11.8 Rk: 79 Pos: 13
In a must win game, the Seahawks D/ST should come with it this week.
[DN]
Ravens @ CLE (29th)
Avg: 10.7 Rk: 103 Pos: 20
Ravens. Browns. An obvious defensive choice.
Dolphins vs DET (16th)
Avg: 10.9 Rk: 97 Pos: 17
Dolphins. Lions. A not so obvious defensive choice.
Good luck, competitors.
Have a very merry Christmas and happy holiday season, everyone. And remember, as always, the greatest gift of all... No more stressful Monday nights until September.
'Til 2011...
~The Joker Beast~