That Bearded Mofo

Thanks For Coming

Welcome to your new sometimes-source for entertainment, ThatBeardedMofo.com.

This home page will always give you the lowdown on the most recently posted articles and fun bits. Not to be confused with naughty bits. That's a different website. Thatshavedmofo.com, I believe.

Latest

Handshakes

image shaved off In case you missed it last week, the three North American leaders met for the world's most awkward handshake. But calling a handshake awkward is like calling a milkshake tasty.

Handshakes are silly. You wrap your fingers around another person's palm and they wrap around yours. Then you squeeze. Or shake. Jiggle, jimmy, slide. And release. This is a show of respect? ...Read More

Lately

Hodor

image shaved off Hodor Hodor Hodor. Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor. Hodor Hodor Hodor, Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor. Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor, Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor. Hodor Hodor. Hodor Hodor.

Hodor, Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor. Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor, Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor

Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor. Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor ...Read More

Late

The Lottery

image shaved off Now that the Powerball total has reached 28 Oprah piggy back rides, everyone and their parole officer is out buying up tickets.

The lottery is a tax on the poor. That statement has floated around for years and has stopped approximately 0 people from playing. Who could pass up a chance at 17 panda omelettes?

Nothing is worse than when your co-workers decide to go in together. Now you have to play ...Read More

Mofo's Choice

Which Is Worse: Rachel Dolezal or Donald Sterling?

image shaved off I'm a mind reader. I can prove it. I know what you thought when you read the title of this piece. "What?" you exclaimed with your nose scrunched and your voice inflected as though someone just told you Santa Claus had to use your toothbrush to scrub the bananas.

One is a White woman who got busted on video for pretending to be Black. The other is a White man who got busted on tape for hating Blacks. What could the Dolezal and Sterling stories possibly have in common? Nothing.

Well, one thing. For me, personally. And it's the only reason I put their stories together in this question. Both of these stories were something I saw on the Internet first thing in the morning. Both were stories that made me laugh out loud. ...Read More


This
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The Other

BEFORE AND AFTERMATH 2015: SUPERBOWL

image shaved off Bearded Mofo's War Journal
Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Jingle bells. Calvin smells. Vernon laid an egg. Steve Harvey can't quite read and the Internet made him pay. Hey!

Not-so-merry
...Read More

BEFORE AND AFTERMATH 2015: ROUND TWO

image shaved off Bearded Mofo's War Journal
Tuesday, December 15, 2015

It's so haaarararaaard to say goodbyyyye to fantasyyyyy-eeee ee ee ee eeee!

Four more brothers
...Read More

Fridge Art

Check out the latest in fine art in the Draw Something gallery. ...View More


















Also
Plus
More

BEFORE AND AFTERMATH 2015: ROUND ONE

image shaved off Bearded Mofo's War Journal
Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Another year in this heck hole.

Yeah, I said "heck hole". I gets real like that.
...Read More

It Ain't Over 'Til The Fat Man Sings

image shaved off Did you catch the ending to that Ravens-Browns game? You did? Why? Who made you watch? I want their names. Show me on the TV where they hurt you. We'll make sure the monsters that subjected you to this sadistically awful Monday Night Football lineup will never hurt anyone ever again. ...Read More

Thank You Very Little

image shaved off You're in for a Thanks-giving meal-sized article today. It's so packed with tidbits, analysis, and celebrity guests, you won't even have room for dessert.

As I'm sure you know by now, it's Thanksgiving week. You could probably tell by the recent influx of people at your gym. Or by the desolate ...Read More



Latest Watchables



Mofoisms

Your car has to be one of the worst places to find a spider.

Manatees are the Baby Jessica of the sea.

Put somebody that looks like Flavor Flav and talks like Chuck D in the White House and then maybe I'll start listening to claims that racism is dead in America.

In the song Big Pimpin', why does Jay-Z say "heart-colded assassin"? "Cold-hearted" is the same amount of syllables, is easier to say, and is actual English.

Raise your hand if you've ever played the numbers from Lost on a lottery ticket. *raises hand*

Two wrongs don't make a right, but it's close enough.