That Bearded Mofo

Thanks For Coming

Welcome to your new sometimes-source for entertainment,

This home page will always give you the lowdown on the most recently posted articles and fun bits. Not to be confused with naughty bits. That's a different website., I believe.


State Of The League 2017

image shaved off Hi. How ya been?

I know I've been gone for a while, but I've got a good excuse. I've been boycotting the NFL until O.J. was freed. But he's out and now I can talk fake football again!

Just to be clear, this is not a regular thing. I'm only back to deliver the State of the League report. There will not be another article next week. Not from me, anyway.

With that being the case, better get in some fun stuff while I can.

Screwys! ...Read More



image shaved off Bearded Mofo's War Journal
Thursday, December 22, 2016

Ho ho oh no, it's over. This war is coming to an end. It already ended for most of us.

I found a body behind the wood shed. It's The Black & The Goaled. Looks like he was knocked out from behind by a Kirk Cousins-shaped object.

Oof! I just tripped over another body. Who is this? Black Francis Soyer. Multiple stab wounds. Too too many to count. What a mess.

Wait... Is he breathing? Oh my. They both are. I'll call the amberlamps.
**dials** Hello, medic? Come quick. There are two teams down. ... What do you mean there's only one ambulance? ...Read More



image shaved off Bearded Mofo's War Journal
Wednesday, December 14, 2016

It's déjà vu all over again.

Twice in the last three weeks, I had the third highest score in the league and lost to the highest score. I guarantee that will not happen to me again this week.

Because I'm out.

Four of us are out. Again. They say it happens in fours.

Actually, no one has ever said that. But if they had, they'd be right when it comes to fantasy postseason axings.
...Read More

Mofo's Choice

Which Is Worse: Rachel Dolezal or Donald Sterling?

image shaved off I'm a mind reader. I can prove it. I know what you thought when you read the title of this piece. "What?" you exclaimed with your nose scrunched and your voice inflected as though someone just told you Santa Claus had to use your toothbrush to scrub the bananas.

One is a White woman who got busted on video for pretending to be Black. The other is a White man who got busted on tape for hating Blacks. What could the Dolezal and Sterling stories possibly have in common? Nothing.

Well, one thing. For me, personally. And it's the only reason I put their stories together in this question. Both of these stories were something I saw on the Internet first thing in the morning. Both were stories that made me laugh out loud. ...Read More

The Other


image shaved off Bearded Mofo's War Journal
Thursday, December 8, 2016

This is the end. Almost.
Not many of these left. I've been writing from this battlefield eight years. Eight years straight now.
...Read More

It's Been Real

image shaved off You know what's fun? Scoring the 3rd most points in the fantasy league over the weekend. You know what's not fun? Playing against the team that scored the most. Happy Thanksgiving to me. Sheesh.

I guess things could've been worse. Not really. I could've gotten my finger ...View More

Day Of The Turkeys

image shaved off Ahhh, it's that time of year. Charlie Brown specials. An abundance of special offers and sales. And orange everywhere. Just a boatload of orange food and stuff. Why is everything so orange?

Before you settle in with your loved ones for your old family tradition ...Read More


Letterman Racket

image shaved off The NFL may have had its best week of the season. Close games and wild finishes made that so. The Cowboys-Steelers game featured 6 two-point attempts, all of which failed. The Patriots couldn't tie the Seahawks after several tries from the 1-yard line. And the Rams and Jets were in a nailbiter of a ...Read More

A Disconnect

image shaved off I have no words.

No. Words.

And because I have no words, this is going to be a quick one.

I'd love to be able to point out the bright side or say something that makes you feel like everything is going to be all right. But I can't. ...View More

America's Least Wanted

image shaved off Did anybody go up against a QB who broke his team's franchise record and put up almost 50 fantasy points this weekend? No? Just me? Okay. Jesus, Derek Carr...

Also, has anybody else noticed that, no matter how much Tom Brady goes off ...Read More

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