Thanks For Coming
Welcome to your new sometimes-source for entertainment, ThatBeardedMofo.com.
This home page will always give you the lowdown on the most recently posted articles and fun bits. Not to be confused with naughty bits. That's a different website. Thatshavedmofo.com, I believe.
Just days after a bomb goes off in New York, Angelina Jolie files for divorce from Brad Pitt. Coincidence?
Of course. Why would those incidents be related?
On another unrelated note, the Emmys telecast aired just a couple days ago. So many awards shows. The last thing we need is another awards show. So how about another awards show?
It's time to dump sarcastic praise onto the flaming pile that is your fantasy team. It's time for the 25th Annual Screwy Awards! And this actually is the 25th time we've done this, just not the 25th year. But 25 is quite an accomplishment. I mean that's more than the amount of receiving yards the Cardinals' John Brown has for the season. In two games. Two!! I'm not bitter. ...Read More
It feels good to start the fantasy season off with a win. That probably feels like a bit of salt in the wound to all those who lost Week 1, but... What can I say? I'm sorry...
...that I'm not sorry.
There's a few other things from this week that I'm unapologetic about which I'd like to cover in my new segment Sorry I'm Not Sorry.
Sorry I'm not sorry the L.A. Rams got shut out opening weekend.
And were the only team to do so. And got blown out by four touchdowns. ...Read More
Draft day is here! Draft day is here!
Well, actually it was eight days ago. Sure, we could draft after teams make their final roster cuts. Sure, we could draft Labor Day weekend when almost every American has a God-given extra day off. But why do that when we can pick before some NFL teams even know who their starting quarterback is?
Before we take a look at the draft, I have to start by congratulating the previous year's league winner. The 2015 champion was none other than our commish extraordinaire The Black & The Goaled! Let's all give him a round of hissing boos--I mean, applause. A round of applause. Yippee yippee yayyy! Go awayyy! We hate you!
Now that that's out of the way, let's open the doors on season 12 of Gateway Fantasy Football. ...Read More
I'm a mind reader. I can prove it. I know what you thought when you read the title of this piece. "What?" you exclaimed with your nose scrunched and your voice inflected as though someone just told you Santa Claus had to use your toothbrush to scrub the bananas.
One is a White woman who got busted on video for pretending to be Black. The other is a White man who got busted on tape for hating Blacks. What could the Dolezal and Sterling stories possibly have in common? Nothing.
Well, one thing. For me, personally. And it's the only reason I put their stories together in this question. Both of these stories were something I saw on the Internet first thing in the morning. Both were stories that made me laugh out loud. ...Read More
In case you missed it last week, the three North American leaders met for the world's most awkward handshake. But calling a handshake awkward is like calling a milkshake tasty.
Handshakes are silly. You wrap your fingers around ...Read More
Hodor Hodor Hodor. Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor. Hodor Hodor Hodor, Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor. Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor, Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor. Hodor Hodor. Hodor Hodor.
Hodor, Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor. Hodor ...Read More
Now that the Powerball total has reached 28 Oprah piggy back rides, everyone and their parole officer is out buying up tickets.
Bearded Mofo's War Journal
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
It's so haaarararaaard to say goodbyyyye to fantasyyyyy-eeee ee ee ee eeee!
Four more brothers ...Read More
Bearded Mofo's War Journal
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Another year in this heck hole.
Yeah, I said "heck hole". I gets real like that. ...Read More