That Bearded Mofo

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Thanks For Coming

Welcome to your new sometimes-source for entertainment,

This home page will always give you the lowdown on the most recently posted articles and fun bits. Not to be confused with naughty bits. That's a different website., I believe.


Think Again

image shaved off My fellow Fantasy Americans,

It's been a long time. I shouldn't have left you without a dope read to skim through.

Now we could sit here all day talm 'bout who needs to apologize to who for not writing a weekly what for the last four years, but I'm not here to point fingers. I'm here to provide some encouragement during the emotional dookie storm that has been 2020.

We all know how bad it's been. Yes, yes, you're sick of hearing about it. Coronavirus. Police brutality. Murder hornets. The Falcons. You're over it. ...Read More



image shaved off There's a simple purpose for hashtags in social media: to highlight the central subject matter of your message making it accessible to searches on said subject matter. Or in lamen's terms, #thiswhatyoutalkin'bout.

But, as happens with everything the Internet touches, its purpose got perverted. The hashtag became a joke. When making comments on the Democratic National Committee debates, it would be proper to use ...Read More



image shaved off Bearded Mofo's War Journal
Wednesday, December 20, 2017

What a bloody year. Bodies. Bodies everywhere. Aaron Rodgers. Deshaun Watson. Omarosa. When will the carnage end?

Antonio Brown, Hunter Henry, Marqise Lee all went down. Carson Wentz the week before. But those are just real injuries. What about the fantasy owies?

Three weeks ago, Da,Pope got blown to bits. He dropped 10 grenades into his own tank. Black went not too far behind him, eaten by sharks. The Black & The Goaled got thrown off a cliff. And HUNTing for a title! went down a trap door; never saw it coming. ... Then on Tuesday...

Actually, it was the following week.
...Read More

Mofo's Choice

Which Is Worse: Rachel Dolezal or Donald Sterling?

image shaved off I'm a mind reader. I can prove it. I know what you thought when you read the title of this piece. "What?" you exclaimed with your nose scrunched and your voice inflected as though someone just told you Santa Claus had to use your toothbrush to scrub the bananas.

One is a White woman who got busted on video for pretending to be Black. The other is a White man who got busted on tape for hating Blacks. What could the Dolezal and Sterling stories possibly have in common? Nothing.

Well, one thing. For me, personally. And it's the only reason I put their stories together in this question. Both of these stories were something I saw on the Internet first thing in the morning. Both were stories that made me laugh out loud. ...Read More

The Other

State Of The League 2017

image shaved off Hi. How ya been?

I know I've been gone for a while, but I've got a good excuse. I've been boycotting the NFL until O.J. was freed. But he's out and now I can talk fake football again!

Just to be clear, this is not a regular thing. ...Read More


image shaved off Bearded Mofo's War Journal
Thursday, December 22, 2016

Ho ho oh no, it's over. This war is coming to an end. It already ended for most of us.

I found a body
...View More


image shaved off Bearded Mofo's War Journal
Wednesday, December 14, 2016

It's déjà vu all over again.

Twice in the last three weeks, I had the third highest score in the league and lost to the highest score.
...Read More



image shaved off Bearded Mofo's War Journal
Thursday, December 8, 2016

This is the end. Almost.
Not many of these left. I've been writing from this battlefield eight years. Eight years straight now.
...Read More

It's Been Real

image shaved off You know what's fun? Scoring the 3rd most points in the fantasy league over the weekend. You know what's not fun? Playing against the team that scored the most. Happy Thanksgiving to me. Sheesh.

I guess things could've been worse. Not really. I could've gotten my finger ...View More

Day Of The Turkeys

image shaved off Ahhh, it's that time of year. Charlie Brown specials. An abundance of special offers and sales. And orange everywhere. Just a boatload of orange food and stuff. Why is everything so orange?

Before you settle in with your loved ones for your old family tradition ...Read More

Latest Watchables


Your car has to be one of the worst places to find a spider.

Manatees are the Baby Jessica of the sea.

Put somebody that looks like Flavor Flav and talks like Chuck D in the White House and then maybe I'll start listening to claims that racism is dead in America.

In the song Big Pimpin', why does Jay-Z say "heart-colded assassin"? "Cold-hearted" is the same amount of syllables, is easier to say, and is actual English.

Raise your hand if you've ever played the numbers from Lost on a lottery ticket. *raises hand*

Two wrongs don't make a right, but it's close enough.